the bravest that I've ever been was when I ran away from you

"I can't give you what you want."

It is interesting for me to think about the fact that someone I once held in the highest regard is incapable of giving me this ever illusive, nebulous of a concept, this "what I want."

Honesty.

Respect.

Decency.

Effort.

And once more, just to emphasize the importance:

Honesty.

Respect.

At the end of any day, that's all I really want. From anyone - stranger, parent, lover, friend.

Hold on... Excuse me, allow me to clarify:

Honesty.

Respect.

Decency.

Effort.

This is what I deserve, expect, and demand. This is not a matter of wanting. Wanting indicates that its superfluous or some sort of added benefit.

Honesty.

Respect.

These two concepts are nonnegotiable. There is no reason or excuse big enough to make their lack in my life, or anyone else's, acceptable. These things that seem so often overlooked are the corner stone of humanity. The foundation of friendships and relationships. The essence of love. So you're right. It is "fucking hilarious." Because you lack authenticity in each of those departments.

This is not about me. I am not some emotional wreck. I am not this needy, weak girl you like to think I am. I am immensely stronger than you ever are. I want nothing but beauty and honesty and love in my life. And I am blessed to have all of those things. I will not settle for anything less. And this is everything less.

This incapability of the "fundamentals" is, in one word, disgusting.





Thank you for the closure. If you gave me nothing else, you have given me that.